The Pause Before the Meal: A Thanksgiving Blessing

When I was a little girl, my grandfather offered a blessing before each meal. it was always the same and there was a deep devotion in his words:

"Dear lord, for what we are about to receive may we be deeply grateful. bless this food to our bodies and our bodies to thy service"

My grandfather's words were simple, but said it all.  So perfect was the sentiment that 30 years since he passed, I still remember and hold it in my heart.  The power of offering a simple blessing before you partake of any meal creates space to take in the beauty and bounty before you; to remember all who took part in it's arriving before you, and to acknowledge that it will become you and give you the energy to offer yourself into the world.

Though I truly think there is no greater pre-meal grace than the one my grandfather offered, this year, I would like to offer to you my own blessing for your Thanksgiving meal . . .

Thanksgiving Grace

May we take this moment of pause to remember the deep connections that gather us around this table of abundance.

On this Thanksgiving Day, as we enjoy this meal, may we take a moment to gaze into each other's eyes and see the sparkle of the Eternal.

 

As we raise our glasses, may we drink in the beauty of the diversity in which the Eternal offers Itself.

May we fill ourselves with gratitude for all of those who have loved us and challenged us during this year.

May we bow in deep appreciation for the love offered in the form of this food and having been fed with such love, may we make our offerings into the world in service of the Highest.

A Little Time Travel on Anusara's Birthday

August 15, 2005

"Congratulations, Abby! You are a fully Certified Anusara Yoga Teacher!" said Anusara Founder John Friend.  "I really love what you wrote for your Grand Finale exam question. You're a part of the grand vision of this method. You have a voice in it, and you can help manifest it."

and in that one phone call, I became Anusara Certified Teacher #146.  Years of practice, years of training, years of teaching, and now . . . the future. Manifesting the grand vision: Day 1.
August 15, 2011

Today is Anusara's 14th Birthday!  Part of my personal celebration was to go back and read that Vision I had during my Certification  process. Here's what I wrote in the winter of 2005. I have to say, it's all unfolding just the way I envisioned it.

Grand Finale Question: What is your dream and vision for Anusara Yoga? How do you intend to help make that dream manifest?

"I was blessed last summer [August 15, 2004] to be on retreat with John Friend at Inner Harmony on the 7th birthday of Anusara Yoga.  I have often contemplated my vision of Anusara, as well as my role within the Anusara community since then.

I envision Anusara as a dynamnic, ever-changing, yet centered organization and community. This vision will mean that there will be times when it draws in and then expands back out again. I dream that as members of the community, we will not allow ourselves to become attached to any particular moment or form that Anusara embodies, and that we will remain open-hearted and open-minded to the flow of Anusara while being ever-aware and rooted in the philosophy and foundational tenets of the practice. My role in this vision is to be vigilant in remaining fresh, studied and curious, as well as to continue to ask myself if I am serving at my highest capacity. By keeping my view, my authentic language, my practice, and my service percolating and expanding, it will remain as dynamic and changing as the organization itself. Allowing spanda, not only withing myself, but within an entire organization takes courage and softenss.

I dream that as Anusara continues to grow, holding strong to its core, we as Anusara teachers and students will actively seek the Teacher Within and to rise to new heights. I see a unifed organization that is built around integrity and a desire to serve each other.  I dream that from our practices, we will grow an inner strength that teaches us to be less demanding of John Friend and senior teachers.  I can help this manifest by continually deepening my own practice.  It is within our own expereince that we become who we are and rise up to offer our unique role within the growing Anusara community.

Finally I envision that Anusara will bcome more than a hatha yoga style.  I see Anusara as a spiritual culture and lifestyle.  Anusara philosophy transforms lives by completely changing how life is viewed.  Today, we are pioneers in a new era as yoga has come West.  Anusara will play a key role by making a broad-based tantric vision of ourselves, the world, and the Divine accessibile to people in all walks of life, from all cultrues and backgrounds.  People will raise their children with a belief in the intrinsic goodness of life in all its manifestations.  People will run their businesses based on Anusara's Universal Principles of Alignment. I can make this vision manifest by living in a life-affirming way that does not deny the beliefs, religions, or choices of those around me. I can share my spiritual life in a way that is non-thretening and non-judgemental. I can "first, see the beauty" in all situations.  As we live our lives in this way, it grows exponentially, because it is all inclusive, life affirming, and a rich experience of life of this earth."

RIsing Up to the Challenge

In the 1980s, my teacher, John Friend designed a "hard core" yoga practice called the Eye of the Tiger.  It was the time of Rocky 2--when the hero goes finally goes beyond "going the distance" and beats his nemesis Apollo Creed because he has an iron will and and a desire that comes from the heart of hearts.  Rocky II's theme song, by Survivor, perfectly spoke to the will and desire that the yogin possesses in their pursuit of the highest expressions of the heart through the practice of asana.

Regarding the Eye of the Tiger Practice, John wrote:

"The Eye of the Tiger practice was my original advanced asana practice that I began in the mid-80’s. The premise was to embody a fierce, single-focus aspiration to become the highest vessel for Spirit so to best serve the Goodness and to be able to fully enjoy life. The image of the Tiger’s eye is when the Tiger is hungry and on the prowl for food. A single focused gaze reflecting a burning desire for fulfillment that won’t be denied. The fire of that longing sparkles in the tiger’s eyes reflecting the tremendous power and energy of a spiritual warrior’s will. "

Over the 20+ years since John first penned this practice sequence (a sequence that pre-dates Anusara Yoga as an entity), this style of practice has been woven deeply into the fabric of the practice lives of Anusara practitioners.  And, as Consciousness expands, this practice has come to take on many forms.  Across the country (and world), you will find a wide variety of variations: The Practice, The Tigress Practice, Teacher's Practice-- what it really means is practicing in community; supporting each other to new heights; being inspired by each other's accomplishments and supporting each other when we are being challenged to our limits.  There is conversation and silence; laughter and groans; it is a practice that requires strength and stamina married to softness and fluidity.  It is the ultimate expression of the divine marriage of Shiva and Shakti.

Several months ago, it occurred to me that, at this point, many (most) Anusara practitioners--even the seasoned ones--may not have ever practiced the Eye of the Tiger in it's entirety as originally written, and thus a series was born.  On Super Bowl Sunday (we called it Super Sadhana Sunday), some 40 yogins from the San Francisco Bay Area joined me in re-creating the original version of the practice--some 130 poses in a span of 4 .5 hours.  This practice is not for the faint of heart--the original document lays out the beginning of the practice as "10 to 108 sun salutes."  During the course of our own Super Bowl Sunday, we practiced the full spectrum, including a total of 21 Urdhva Dhanurasanas.  The intensity of the practice is not just in it's myriad of hand balances and deep backbends, but in it's completeness.  The EoT incorporates at least 10 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes of savasana to make it full and complete, for the richest practice goes beyond raw power and refines itself into the artfulness of expression. 

We named ourselves The Kundalini Kula, because the tiger represents Durga’s tiger, the Kundalini within each of us. As John explains, "This is the ultimate creative power that we ride with great skill since it is dangerous energy which can be used for evolution or destruction."
Take a peek into our time together (accompanied by the practice's theme song):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n__gpHnpfVY

May we continue to rise to the occasion of the practice from the deepest desire to know the truth of our own hearts.  Special thanks to Certified Anusara Yoga Teacher Danielle Hougard for the beautiful pictures here in this post.

Power and Promise

2011 is no longer officially "new" and yet with 11 full months left, it still holds infinite promise. It's funny how quickly we can let go of that feeling of potential and opportunity once the champagne bottles have been recycled. What on January 1st seems full of POWER & PROMISE, by February 1st is old news, old patterns, and the idea that we'll get our next shot at potential and promise in the Spring, or in 2012.

Each year, I create an overall theme for my classes. This highest intention or remembrance holds the entirety not only of my teaching, but of my own practice. To have a single-point of focus as a community for the duration of a year has been very powerful bond between me and my students since I began the yearly theme in 2006. Some years the theme is articulated in nearly every class, and in other year's I hold the space for it and it's presence is felt more than spoken. The yearly theme is like a great river, from which many tributaries flow, but it is the source--the wellspring or, tirtha--of every sequence, every public class, every event.

This year's theme, "POWER & PROMISE: it's all about the practice" solidified for me in late October when I was in Santa Fe studying with John Friend. Together with friends and my dear teacher in this msytical city, I felt a deep truth arise from me and wash over and through me. This practice of yoga works. It works at cracking my heart wide open. It works at making me better at being who I am--authentically. It works by bringing me into deeper connection with others and with the world all around. Really, all I have to do is SHOW UP with my heart and mind open to this promise, and I will awaken to my own divine nature more fully. It can't not happen, which isn't to say it will happen in the way I want or think I want. To me, yoga's promise is that it helps me remember that I am empowered, and that I too, am full of promise and potential.

POWER & PROMISE is manifesting itself in a teaching year that is about what it means to have a regular practice and to become refined in the practice as well as to allow ourselves to be moved by the practice. The residing Devi for this year , Saraswati, reminds us to take our raw power and potential (our Kali side) and to organize it into the highest offering of expression. I’m teaching and offering with clear purpose. In the one short month since 2011 began, I have already seen an incredible shift in my weekly students—not only in their asana practice, but in their commitment and the meaning they are bringing to the mat.

I invite you to join into the remembrance of Power & Promise in your practice this year. Get on your mat and watch yourself shift in 2011!

It All Starts with Showing Up

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to show up for my practice.
What does that mean exactly?


I guess it all started nearly a year ago when I was studying with my teacher John Friend during a week-long Immersion here in San Francisco. At one point during the week, John brought our awareness to how often we left to go the bathroom during the sessions.  I'd heard it before, and didn't disagree with anything he was saying, and yet, the grande latte sitting in my bladder, began to speak out with a vengeance.


"John just doesn't understand how small a female bladder can be and how small the woman's bathroom is--five stalls for 150 women... we have to stagger ourselves.  It's not healthy to hold it in, and how will I do my twists and folds if I don't go?"


Then, once to my mat, determined not to get off my mat FOR ANYTHING, just to prove that I could go the whole session without surrendering to the growing urge, the grande latte really started talking, to which I inwardly replied,


"No way. I'm not going to go in there after he said that. I'm gonna stick it out.  He'll think I'm a horrible person, a bad student, no adhikara; he'll take my Certification away.  I can DO this!"


then


"This is stupid. I can't concentrate on my breath, on my practice, nothing if I don't go. Ardha Matsyendrasana could be a disaster!  John is a good, kind, teacher. He doesn't want me to be miserable. He's not on some sort of a power trip.  Just go. It'll be ok"


So, I snuck off my mat and returned, relieved, a few minutes later, though I felt guilty about it.


Do I think for one second that John wanted me to wet myself to prove my studentship. Absolutely not. He's much too kind and practical for that.  He was in no way trying to exert any sort of insane control thing.  He just wanted to start up the conversation in all of us . . . 


How are we showing up?


I spent a long time musing this over the next few weeks, maybe even months.  I watched my students: the ones who were habitually late, or who habitually left early.  I watched everything. Who was really present--not just on their mat--but in every aspect of who they were.   I did the same in my own practice. Was I showing up and ready to practice or was I just on my mat?  Was I implementing the things John had recommended for me every day or would I try to do a crash course of it right before I saw him again?  Was I really in this thing?  


What does it mean to show up?


I began to feel that each practice begins way way way before it's scheduled start--sometimes as early as coming out of savasana in your previous practice.  To really show up to your practice is what you do in-between.  It's in many ways cumulative.  Everything that I do, between now and then is setting the foundation for where I will begin my next practice, whether it's on my own, or with my teacher. It's as much as about pre-cursors to the practice as it is the practice itself.


The end of October comes, and I find myself in incredible Santa Fe, NM, once again to study with the Main Man.  Having spent a lot of time thinking about this showing up thing, I came up with a plan, not because I had anything to prove to my teacher, but I had a lot to prove to myself.  What was it that was happening in the hours before our start time, that would take away from me being ready to practice at the precise moment he was ready to start?  Going backward through my routines, I came up with one very obvious culprit--I always had that one last coffee or tea--sometimes taking that last gulp as I emerged from my car or even carrying it into the venue me, as if a warm beverage was my mat or a blanket.  Duh! Of course, I have to sneak out to the bathroom.  So, I created an affirming boundary.  Hot beverage of choice finished 2 hours before practice begins. Brilliant.


Next, what do I typically do when I get to the venue? Well, another obvious answer, it's all about socializing with my friends from all over the country.  Community baby!  But wait, had I ever still been chatting away when I felt John walk in the room?  He'll ring the bells and gather us "up close and personal anyway." What if, I created another affirming boundary for myself? On my mat and ready to practice 5 minutes before the scheduled start time. "That's a Bingo!" (475,000 yoga points to anyone who can tell me the movie that's from.)


Everything shifted with that first morning's practice. It was the best practice for me . . . maybe ever.  And the week continued like that.  A major shift had happened.
 I showed up.
I showed up for my practice in a totally new way.
I showed up for MYSELF.


We all have those things that we are doing or not doing that are preventing us from truly stepping in.  In my case, and what I guess is true of most others, it's the little things that we aren't even relating to our mat time that are preventing us from getting the most from our mat time.  We try to get one more thing done before leaving for class; we schedule an appointment too soon after the scheduled finish of class; we have that last cup of coffee... 


This year, I've invited my students to create an affirming boundary around whatever keeps them from fully showing up.  I've invited them by asking them to follow the "On the mat and ready to practice 5 minutes before scheduled start time" (rule).  I'm holding it up on my end, too. Not just in my practice, but in teaching. I'm in the class at least 5 minutes before, I'm starting right on time, and class is complete when it is scheduled to be.  As a result, people are telling me that they are finding so much more meaning in their practice, just as I have found in mine.


Yes, it all starts with showing up.
And showing up starts . . . now.

Crocodiles and Snakes . . . Oh My!

On Monday, I woke from a spectacular dream with a knowing smirk on my face . . . "I get it," I said aloud not only to myself but to the entirety of the Universe, and immediately went right back into its rich imagery and the story it was telling.

I am standing on the bank of a beautiful river whose current is swift. I've just come out of a protective thicket of trees and stand staring at the call of the waters. This goddess of a river seems to be chanting "Dive in, dive in." At this moment, I also hear footsteps behind me, and turning, remember that I was leading a throng of people to this river bank. Looking back, I see dear loved ones, friends, students. They all followed to this place--to this moment.

Standing on a large rock (because, you know, I'm a goddess of the short variety, and, alas my dreamworld didn't change me into a fantastically long-legged goddess), I called out to everyone,

"We've arrived! This is the place I told you about! Jump in!"

As I spoke, I saw a few looks of trust, but mostly, I saw eyes filled with horror. I changed my stance on the rock so that I could see both the throng and the river. Revealing themselves, emerging from the water were many crocodiles and snakes. They were basking, swimming, slithering--doing their reptilian thing.

"No worries. Those guys are no problem! I know these waters. I know these creatures. You can trust me, they won't bother you at all. In fact, they're quite nice." But, try as I might no one budged. No one accepted my invitation to jump in. Looking back and forth from the throng to the river and from the river to the throng, I knew there was only one thing I could do that would get even one of them to dive into the creature-filled current . . .

I had to dive in.
I had to swim with the snakes.
I had to ride the backs of the crocodiles.
I had to let the current carry me and engulf me.

And so . . . off the rock I jumped. Emerging from the water, once again, I called out to my companions, "See, it's fine. We're totally taken care of. Dive in! Dive in! Who is with me?"

Many of those who had come so far with me, through the woods all the way to the river bank decided that they were happy with the journey they had taken, but this was the end of the line. It was absolutely too much to ask to jump into the swift current . . . not to mention the very dangerous demons lurking about. Nope, back into the thicket they turned.

Others, decided that the bank had a beautiful view and began sketching plans to reside there to watch the current, to maybe wait . . . and . . . see . . . you know . . . if I got eaten alive. Then maybe someday later they'd come in for a swim.

But some. Some accepted the invitation. They trusted. They jumped whole-hearted into the current with me. And we frolicked.

Now, I'm sure a Freudian analyst would have much to say about my crocodiles and snakes. But oh, that's so dated. No, they would never understand the rich tapestry of imagery within my dream from the perspective of a yogin hiding in plain site--from the perspective of (watch out! scary word coming!) tantra. Which is exactly why I smiled and smirked upon waking.

My beautiful river, was, of course, the outpouring of Consciousness into the world as Shakti. She is at once always the same and ever-moving. Both essence and flow. She is the paradox of herself. She is sara, the flow of grace; the power of Conciousness; the promise that we will be held even within her swift current.

The wriggling, writhing, slithering snakes are (hush up Freudians! this is my show!) Kundalini Shakti, the unrivaled empowered unfolding of Consciousness into and as every fiber of our being. She who coils and stretches us from within. She who sometimes is so subtle we don't notice her undulations, and who sometimes stirs so wildly that we KNOW she has penetrated into new territories of who we are.

The ancient crocodiles . . . they are kula. They are our chosen community. A community of the heart and of the practice, for the crocodile is born of community. Eggs are laid close together--there is safety in numbers after all. Each future croc alone in its hard little shell waiting, listening. You see, crocodiles have a special little tooth that they use to free them from the boundaries that they have now almost outgrown. The tooth expands the boundaries! They listen until a lone "tap tap tap" begins the process. One begins, but then they all join in the tapping, until they have hatched into community. And! As if this isn't fantastic enough . . . they march right into their waiting mother's mouth and she herself carries them into the river, opens her mouth, and releases them into the currents of Grace.

I'm not standing on the banks any longer. I am taking the plunge. The current is faster than the one I was in before. It's more fun, and sure, probably more dangerous. There are crocodiles and snakes, but they are beneficent--they are my community and my own innate power. I know this is going to be an awesome ride in the currents of Consciousness.

"See, it's fine. We're totally taken care of. Dive in! Dive in! Who is with me?"